


River Part 7

by writingformadderton



Series: River [7]
Category: Rocketman - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Blood, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Triggers, dark memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23616595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: When Richard and Brandon arrive at Taron’s apartment they get welcomed by silence and darkness. They walk around carefully and Richard gets haunted by his memories, but Brandon leads him through it. When they find Taron both are shocked and know they need help immediately. Taron wakes up in hospital later and knows he needs to change something quickly, scared of himself.
Relationships: Taron Egerton/Richard Madden
Series: River [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603804
Kudos: 3





	River Part 7

**Author's Note:**

> For those who want an open ending, stop reading after this chapter :)

Richard is looking out of the window and rubs his face nervously. “Can’t we drive faster?”

Brandon looks over to him, sitting at the passenger seat, and shakes his head. “I won’t get in a car crash, Rich. I’m driving as fast as possible in this weather.”

Rich huffs out air through his mouth and leans forward, bracing his head in his hands. He rocks himself back and forward slowly. What was he going to find back in Taron’s apartment?

“Take deep breaths and focus on your heartbeat.” Brandon says and carefully rubs over his back, driving with one hand. “Try to stay calm, that will make it easier for you.” Rich just groans but does as he says. Brandon knows it isn’t easy and he knows how much his best friend is fighting the upcoming panic in his body. Trying to calm him a bit and talking to him always helped Richard.

He pushes a button to ignite the blinking hazard lights and parks in front of Taron’s apartment. They get out of Richard’s car and Rich stands still, looking up to the window of Taron’s apartment. His old home. “Are you coming?”

Richard walks towards him and they enter the apartment building together. He walks up the stairs and grabs Brandon’s hand, in search for a bit comfort. This here was his past. This building holds all the beautiful moments and awful secrets of his relationship and life with Taron. “I’m not sure if I can do this.” he says quietly and stops walking up the stairs.

The American pulls him into a short hug und strokes over the back of his head. “I’m right here, I can help if you need me to.”

Richard takes out his keys to the apartment he kept all these months and takes a deep breath before opening the door. He steps in and stands still for a moment, trying to calm his thoughts.

“I’m gonna come with you.” Brandon says and follows him inside, closing the door behind him.

The Scottish walks inside the familiar apartment and feels his heart racing in his chest. Everywhere he turned, he sees Taron and himself popping up in his thoughts. “Taron?” he calls out loudly but gets no answer.

No sign of him in the kitchen or the living room. He reaches the door of the bedroom and breathes in deeply. His hand pushes down on the door handle and tries to open the door. “You’re still doing that.” He groans annoyed and throws himself against the door. Now he knows Taron is still here at least. It wasn’t the first time Taron locked him out of the bedroom and the bath next to it. Brandon watches him with raised eyebrows but Rich knows what he is doing.

Finally getting the door open, he walks in and is welcomed by darkness. Only the light in the bathroom is turned on and shines brightly through a small portion of the room. His body stops working for a moment and he just stares into the bathroom. The place where the same drama took place in reality, and over and over again in his head. But also, the place where Taron broke up with him, hurt him and didn’t even care at all about it. Brandon rubs his back and brings him back to reality. He stumbles through the darkness and steps into the bathroom, frightened.

The first thing he sees is the blood. In the sink, on the white tile floor, and the bloody razor lying there, thrown into a corner of the room. But no Taron. His stomach protests and he retches, feeling sick. “How could I watch this go on for so long?” he mumbles and wraps his arms around his upset stomach.

“Deep breaths in and out, mate. Let’s get out of the bathroom.” Brandon says and softly pushes him outside. He turns the light on in the bedroom and frowns. “Rich?” he asks shocked and takes in the scene in front of his eyes. Fuck.

Richard’s eyes widen in horror. Oh my god. “Fuck, Brandon. We need an ambulance.” Richard chokes out and rushes over to Taron lying on the floor next to his bed. He kneels down next to him and tries to calm his raging thoughts and breathing. The blood in the bathroom already warned him about the cuts he is now seeing on his arms. But there is a bottle of alcohol lying shattered on the floor and a bottle of pills that seems very familiar to Richard. He carefully takes it and sees that he is right. Rich had trouble with sleeping sometimes and took very strong pills when he knew he couldn’t get a good night’s rest. Taron took a few of them.

Brandon stands next to him talking on his phone and is describing what he sees. Richard just points at the pills and Brandon takes them to tell them what Taron took.  
Richard is trying his hardest to hold himself together and to stay calm. He pulls Taron’s body closer to his own and lies his head on his lap, stroking his fingers through his hair. All he can focus on is his pale ex-boyfriend, covered in blood, and lying on his lap. He barely recognizes when the ambulance arrives and takes Taron with them, after talking to his best friend.

Looking at him through his worried green eyes, he crouches down in front of him. “Rich?” he carefully rocks him a bit. “Do you want to go to the hospital? Otherwise, we can still visit him in the next few days.”

“Can we go now?” Richard asks in a mumble and looks up at him with tears in his eyes.

“Of course. Do you want me to come with you?” he strokes over his arm and looks at him concerned. Richard presses his lips together and nods quickly. “Okay.”

Rich locks the door and turns around to his best friend. He sees the bright green eyes behind the glasses, his brown fluffy hair and swallows. It was ridiculous that his best mate had the same qualities that he loved about Taron. “I feel like it’s my fault.”

Shaking his head, Brandon pulls him into a tight hug. “Don’t think like that.” He strokes over his head and feels him shaking in his arms. “It’s gonna be okay.” He whispers and rubs his back in an effort to calm him down.

“I can’t lose him, Bran.” He whispers back and holds him tightly.

“You won’t. I promise.” he swallows the lump in his throat and blinks away his own tears. It all just got a lot worse than he expected when he came to London.

Richard falls down hastily on the seat next to Taron’s bed and buries his face in his hands. He can hear Brandon coming towards him and feels his hand rubbing his back gently. His mate sits down next to him and remains silent. “What if he’s not gonna make it?” he looks up and sees the sadness in his mate’s eyes.

“Rich.” Brandon grabs his hand and squeezes it. “He’s gonna make it. T is a fighter.” Richard nods and tilts sideways, leaning against his mate who wraps his arm around him. “You’re gonna be okay, bub. It’s gonna be okay.”

When Taron wakes up, he tries to adjust his eyes to the bright light. He groans when he feels a sharp pain in his head and looks at his side. The room isn’t familiar to him at all and he lifts his arm to rub his face. He sees the cast around his hand that covers the IV and suddenly it hits him.

He ended up in the hospital after trying to end it all yesterday. But how did he get here? And who found him? He turns his head to the other side and his heart skips a beat. There is Brandon sitting on a chair with his legs tucked up, bracing his head on his hand. And next to him is Richard, who’s head is leaning against his friend’s shoulder. Both of them are sleeping and look like they stayed here the whole time, still wearing the same clothes as they were in the park.

Taron bites his lip and groans quietly. This wasn’t the way he planned it at all. He thinks back at last night and shakes his head slowly. Stumbling around drunk in the apartment, he found an old bottle of Richard’s pills and just took a few of them. And suddenly he couldn’t see clear anymore and the last thing he remembers is that the alcohol bottle fell from his hand and shattered into pieces. But to see Richard and Brandon here now, not because they have to but because they care about him, makes his heart swell with joy. But also shame and guilt, for putting them through all of this mess within the last week. But for now, all he can do is rest and recover as quickly as he can.

“Just sit down here, I’m gonna take your stuff upstairs.” Richard says and takes the suitcase into his bedroom.

Taron sits down on the sofa and rubs his face tiredly. He barely slept the last couple of days and it shows.

“You want something to drink?” he hears Brandon saying and looks up.

“Yes please.” T smiles weakly and leans back into the pillow behind his back. Richard comes back down and sits opposite him watching him observantly. Brandon comes in and brings him a glass of water. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” he says and closes the door behind him.

They remain silent for a moment until T lifts his head again. Taron sighs a bit and runs his fingers through his hair. “Please don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Rich asks confused and leans back in his armchair.

“Like you still love me after what I did a few days ago.” T mumbles and can’t look him in the eyes anymore. There are a few feelings mixed up in his heart at the moment. He is angry with himself for being so stupid and risking it all. He is relieved seeing Richard sitting there, still fighting for him. But he feels ashamed that he did what he did.

“Sorry.” Richard just mumbles and stares at his hands. He doesn’t know if it was the right decision to take T with him today. But the doctor and therapist in the hospital asked him where he could stay until he gets better again. Taron wants to visit his mother in a couple of days but until then he had to stay somewhere else then in his apartment.

“I think I’m moving out.” Taron says and looks back at him. Richard looks at him with questioning eyes. “I don’t think I’ll be able to start over in this apartment full of dark memories.” He smiles softly. “Some good as well.” He takes a deep breath and plays with his hands. “Maybe I’ll stay back home with my mum in Wales for a while. Quit acting for a year or so.”

The Scottish nods and watches him with big blue and sad eyes. “I think some time off would do you good.”

Taron nods and stares out of the window watching the snow falling down. “You know you did nothing wrong.”

“I made my mistakes, just like you.” Rich braces his head on his hand and looks over to his ex-boyfriend, who looks beyond exhausted.

“I don’t know what was going on in my head a few days ago, Rich. I don’t know.” He swallows and looks back at him again. Richard looks tired and broken, his blue eyes are full of sadness and guilt. “And that scares me.” The Welsh takes a deep breath and rubs his face sighing. “I should have listened to you all these years ago.” His eyes start to water and he tries to control his voice. “And I am so so sorry for hurting you, mentally and physically. I took from myself the most amazing thing I ever had.” He feels a tear rolling down his cheek and wipes it away quickly. “I thought I would end our suffering with this stupid stunt I pulled a few days ago.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Rich breathes out weakly.

“I didn’t really realize that I would hurt so many people with it. I-I mean I have two little sisters and my mum - you. And I wanted to thank you for not giving me up, Rich.” He tucks up his legs and shivers a bit.

Richard gets up and grabs a blanket from the other sofa. He wraps it around Taron, who’s shivering at this point, and rubs his arms shortly. He sits down next to him and watches him sadly. “I would never give up on you.”

“I know. And when I started to realize that, I had to end it- or at least try to end it. I wanted you to move on from my toxic behavior.” Taron grabs his hand hesitantly and barely dares to look in his eyes. “I never reached out for help because I thought I didn’t need it. But I never stopped loving you Rich, okay?” he bites his lower lip and feels the tears burning in his eyes. “I need help, Richie. I really do.” he squeezes his hand and presses a kiss on the back of it gently. “And I’m sorry that it took me so long to understand that.” Richard fights his own tears and just pulls him into a hug. Taron starts sobbing violently and hides in his chest. “I never wanted you to see me like that.”

Rich wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “I know, love.” he lets his own tears roll down his cheeks and strokes over the back of Taron’s head, rocking them both back and forth. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” he whispers and they hug each other tightly, letting their sadness, anger, hurt and pain flow out with the tears.

After a while, Brandon comes downstairs again and finds them both asleep on the sofa, hugging each other, with tear streaks on their faces. He gets a big blanket and puts it above both of them. “God you two, your love will never fade.” he says to himself and shakes his head slightly leaving them alone again.


End file.
